Norah, the world class scam artist!

I have been very thrilled to see that my blogs about Norah the World Class Psychic have caused many people to be sceptical, and to reject her offers to psychically solve all their problems.

Just for fun, I replied again to her advert, using the same email address as before, but a different name. Guess what? I received exactly the same pile of horse- shit as before!

As if that’s not funny enough, she has started sending the very same “psychic predictioms” to someone called Nolan, at my email address!

BEWARE FOLKS!! Norah is a fraud, it’s plain and obvious! Do not send her money! You can continue to receive her emails if you want to see just how far she goes trying to separate you from your hard-earned bucks, but PLEASE don’t be tempted to pay her anything, or provide her with your bank account details!

If you are trying to get a refund from her, I suggest approaching your bank directly. I think your chances of getting a refund from the Frenchman who trades as Norah are remote, to say the least! I would love to hear from anyone who was successful…

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Jenna the astrologer tries to sell me her “reiki grid”

 

It’s quite a lot of fun to subscribe to an astrologer’s newsletter, to see how far they will go to sell you their particular brand of bullshit.

A while ago I subscribed to Jenna, at aboutastro.com. Naturally, she was SO PLEASED I contacted her, because she could instantly feel a strong connection to me. (The connection is so strong she doesn’t realise I’ve given her a false name, address and date of birth!)

Of course, “Jenna” is not a real person, just a name given to a marketing ploy. My responses to her “amazing” predictions about my future and assumptions about my life (ie “You’re a DAMN FRAUD, Jenna!”) were countered by “It’s so nice to hear from you Dear, I would love to help you but I need you to pay me first.”

So, I gave up trying to get a reaction and just allowed “her” to continue sending me emails, to see how silly it would get….. I was not disappointed 🙂

On May 10th I received another long, friendly, and very personal e-mail, telling me how wonderful I am, and how close she feels to me, how focussed she is on me, how she will always be at my service and be my very best friend.

AND, because she loves me so much (or at least, the person I’m pretending to be), she has made a very special Crystalline Reiki Grid for me. In her own words:

I want you to know that all of my attention and my vigilance is focused on you and I will always be at your service. I will not hesitate to tell you if a certain change or significant event is set to occur in your personal astrological configuration. Cherise, you can fully count upon my devotion. I will be here for you and I will be your friend and your astrologer.

I really wanted to produce a ‘Crystalline Reiki Grid’ for you, a grid which comes from a very ancient technique which I have now been using for a number of years with a great deal of success. I began this work very recently. This work aims at producing a very beneficial and positive magnetic influence and brings protection, chance and opportunity to the focus of of it’s energy through the interaction of a range of powerful precious stones. There is no magic or sorcery in all of this. We now know that magnetism exists as it has been proved by scientific techniques and it is certain that this energetic field can have extremely beneficial effects. The technique of the grid has existed for thousands of years and is extremely efficient. To give you a little more idea about what this means, the Grid is a way of arranging stones in a sacred geometric pattern. What is great about the Grid is that this pattern is then activated by a connection with a ‘line of light’ through the stones so that they radiate an energy field which then reaches out to the person the grid is destined for. I normally offer this work to those of my correspondents which I feel closest to and to those I want to bring very strong positive energy. Today Cherise this means you. To make this grid work properly for you and so that you get the best out of it’s influence, all you need to do is to concentrate on the photo which I have attached to this email. The grid will then be ‘activated’.

And here is the Grid:

I can see some quartz, and some other bits of rock, one or two of which may be ferrous, and therefore magnetic, placed around a two-coloured crayon pattern drawn with a compass. The note on the right refers to energy (always a dead give-away they don’t have a f*cking clue what they’re talking about), colour frequencies, vitality, balance and, of course, CHAKRAS!

The “line of sight” through the stones is supposed to generate the “magnetic energy field” that’s going to reach out and change my life when I concentrate on this accumulation of Scratch Patch left-overs. Really? How does that work EXACTLY?

I keep looking at it, but nothing is happening. Why not? Because some guy’s hastily assembled, badly photographed, badly written bit of woo is not going to convince any rational person of its magical powers, that’s why not!

Are there really people who buy into this utter crap? How crazy do you have to be to think there is some method a handful of common stones arranged on a kid’s drawing can generate an “energy field”? And then, assuming that “energy field” is activated and streaming at you from your PC or iPad’s screen, how exactly does it vitalise, balance and energise your chakras – which are themselves a load of self-delusional bullshit?

Just for the record, for those who aren’t already aware of the basic facts of reality and live in some fuzzy world where placebos rule their lives:

  • bits of stones do not generate energy fields, unless they are magnetic or radioactive
  • a magnetic field around a piece of iron is of very limited size (unless it’s a HUGE magnet) and such a field cannot and will not radiate out and change your life
  • there’s no such thing as a sacred grid. The above is a simple geometric drawing a 6-year-old could do without any difficulty. The “sacredness” is in the head of the humans who invented it.
  • staring at this picture may relax you, take your mind off your troubles for a while, even make you feel good if you are that way inclined. It will NOT change your environment or your life – you have to do that for yourself.
  • chakras are not real.

The bottom line, once again, is you should not be taken in by people claiming to be able to help you change your life with astrology, chakra-healing, reiki-healing, aura-healing or any other “alternative” ideology. They count on people’s hopes and dashed dreams to make themselves a nice little profit out of your gullibility.

Your life will only change, if you need it to, when you take control and make the changes happen for yourself.

 

I would like to repeat something I wrote in my post about Auras:

Try living each day as though it might be your last and ENJOY IT!  Love deeply and strongly; appreciate the kindness you receive, and give as much as you can in return; learn about the real world so you can understand why things happen – and tackle your problems head-on, instead of cowering behind irrationality;  be compassionate towards your fellow Earthlings – human and animal. Most of all – LOVE YOURSELF! Appreciate yourself, you are actually a Good Person :-)

World Class Psychic – a true story

My previous blog posts about Norah the “Psychic” (January Archive) seem to have struck a painful chord with some people.

In particular, one gentleman contacted me with a very unhappy story, which I will relate below (I have asked his permission to share this):

Joe (not his real name) is a pensioner. He suffered the tragic loss of his wife on Christmas Eve 2009. They had been married for 42 years. When she passed away, he was devastated, and felt there was a huge gap in his life that he just couldn’t fill.

Joe saw Norah’s advert on the internet, and responded in the hope that Norah would help him to find a way to get nearer to his deceased wife. He was desperate, lonely and in a very vulnerable state.

Like many of us, he received Norah’s seemingly heartfelt, personal communications, and like many people he was taken in by her promises.

Joe bought everything Norah asked him to buy, was deceived into spending almost all of his money on expensive “essential” purchases, and then after 10 months her “help” abruptly stopped.

He is now penniless except for a state pension, and at this writing he is in hospital. His words to me were: “How can what this woman does be legal?”

Joe, my heart goes out to you! To lose someone you have loved for most of your life, and then to be taken advantage of by this unscrupulous psychic in such a cold and heartless way….. 

Unfortunately, Norah’s first, and most exciting, email has a very tiny disclaimer printed on the bottom which states:

The information provided on Premium Astrology.com and in my readings, e-mails, e-books, or other materials you might receive from PremiumAstrology.com, is for entertainment purposes only. Obviously, we cannot guarantee the accuracy of astrological or divinatory information, and we are not responsible for how you interpret or apply it.

If you are struggling with serious problems, including chronic illness, mental instability, or legal issues, please consult with your local registered health care or legal professional as soon as possible.

In other words, please use common sense. Please also carefully read the full Terms of Service. (Emphasis mine)

This disclaimer appears AFTER no less than eight invitations to you, dear reader, to “Click Here Now” and navigate AWAY from the page with the disclaimer to register for “THE MOST COMPLETE, DETAILED AND PRECISE ASTRAL READING OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE”. Promises of great wealth falling into your lap during your once-in-a-lifetime Transit Period, which is due to start is just a few weeks! *Gasp*

If you do manage to persevere all the way to the bottom of the page without being dazzled by the promises of luck, wealth, love and happiness, and click on the “Terms of Service” link you get a very definite re-statement of the disclaimer, and much much more…. Boy, these people are not taking any chances!

So, Joe, I’m sorry to say, I don’t think there’s much chance you’ll ever get your money back from this World Class con artist…..

Please let this serve as a warning to anyone else who is contemplating getting involved with psychics and astrologers. They are only in it for the money. They don’t care about you, no matter what their slick marketing says.

Norah KNOWS she’s duping people. She says it’s “obvious” that astrological and psychic readings should not be taken as anything but mere entertainment…..

Telling you to “use your common sense” in the same breath as she’s telling you to believe the biggest load of BULLSHIT is just so cynical, it makes me ill.

Norah, the Word Class Psychic – Revisited

In the weeks since I wrote my blog on Norah, the World Class Psychic, I have had many readers tell me they received exactly the same “reading” from Norah, and that my blog post prompted them to NOT take up her offer for further “readings.”

Up till then, they were actually considering it….

OK guys and gals, here’s the thing – these people are FRAUDS! You need to realise that simple fact.

ALL astrologers, clairvoyants, psychics and the like are frauds! Please don’t allow yourself to be duped by these people…

Let’s apply a little rational thinking to Astrology:

First of all, what exactly ARE the stars and planets that astrologers claim dictate your future, health, wealth and sex life?

Stars are huge balls of hydrogen and helium gas that burn by thermonuclear fusion, producing light and heat that radiates away into outer space, warming any nearby planets and their inhabitants. At the end of a star’s natural life, after it has exhausted all its nuclear fuel and converted its light elements into heavier elements, it may explode as a mighty supernova, blasting its contents into the interstellar medium, and leaving behind a dim white dwarf star or neutron star.

Supernova

Some time later, those very elements may be drawn into the gravitational influence of a newly coalescing baby star, and form a family of rocky or gaseous bodies in orbits around the new star – planets.

There is nothing mystical or supernatural about stars or planets. They are composed of 100% natural, easily verified substances. If you doubt this, step outside and pick up a handful of soil. What is it made of? Small stones and sand and the composted remains of plants and animals. Those stones and sand may be made up of quartz, silica, bits of volcanic rock and sedimentary deposits…. There will be dead bugs, earthworm poop, dead leaves and twigs and any number of other organic substances. So far, nothing mysterious or supernatural, right?

The ground beneath your feet, all the way through to the ground beneath the feet on the other side of the Earth, is made of absolutely bog standard soil, rocks, magma, iron, and so on (consult the Periodic Table of the Elements for the rest.)

The same applies to the other planets in our Solar Family. They have those same substances in different proportions, depending on how they formed about 4.5 billion years ago. Those closer to the Sun are rockier, because the heavier elements were drawn closer in by the gravity of the newly formed star, and those further out are gassier, because they are made mostly of lighter elements.

Carl Sagan famously pointed out that we are ALL made of star-stuff… I think that is one of the most amazing, thought-provoking things I have ever heard!

As far as we can tell, most of the stars and planets in the universe are made of roughly the same elements. There is nothing mysterious or odd about them – they are just simple physical objects in 3-dimensional space and time. (We won’t discuss back holes, string theory and the multi-verse today! Let’s keep it nice and simple…)

So why do some of you think that these common physical objects, made of gasses and rocks and ice, have some magical or supernatural influence on your lives?

Is it their gravitational influence due to their relative position at the moment of your birth? Stop and ask yourself one simple question: How can that possibly influence the decisions you make today, and every day?

It’s not gravity that makes you decide whether to start smoking, whether to take drugs because your buddies are taking them, whether to marry this man or that woman, whether to enrol at university or go out and get a job – you make those decisions for yourself, or on the advice of the people you trust.

Every decision YOU make determines, to some extent, the future course of your life.

And, you have to define what you mean by “moment of birth.” Is it when your mother starts going into labour, when you are in the birth canal, when your head first crowns, when you emerge, or when the doctor slaps your bottom and you take your first breath? Those events can span 24 hours or more, during which time the sun, moon and planets’ relative positions will have changed quite a bit.

Why is your time of birth more auspicious than your time of conception? Surely when you first form as a human entity is just as important as when you emerge to start breathing air? What about when your heart takes its first little beat?

Which moment do you imagine the lump of rock  hundreds of millions of kilometres away thinks is the most important?

Again, you need to question the assumption that a star or planet’s relative position to another star or planet at any time in the past can make any difference to the decisions you take every day. The Earth itself has the greatest gravitational influence on all of us – if it didn’t we would all fly away into outer space. The distant planets’ gravitational pull is minute, almost non-existent, by comparison, and yet the Earth plays almost no part in Astrology! Have they just not thought to include the most important planet of all?

What about recently discovered planets outside our Solar System? They should also have some astrological significance, shouldn’t they? There are literally HUNDREDS of them, and more being discovered every week – the astrological charts are going to get a wee bit more complicated, methinks!

Artist's conception of one of the new exo-planets (Kepler)

Are you starting to think it’s all a bit implausible? I hope so, because the next step is to ask yourself why only certain people, such as Norah, have a hot-line to what that rocky or gaseous body thinks is in your future? How do they receive that information, and from whom? Can stars and planets speak? In English? In all the languages of all the astrologers on Earth? That’s pretty smart for a heap of iron or a ball of gas!

Or, do they receive the information internally, telepathically, without words? Really? Again, how and from whom? Is a star or a planet really a supernatural being? Is there any evidence of such an outlandish idea? Absolutely none! We know precisely what stars and planets are, how they form, how they evolve and how they die. No supernatural beings involved – sorry!

Astrology does not make any testable hypothesis and offers no suggestions as to how it is supposed to operate. As such, it cannot be falsified, and is considered to be a pseudo-science. It describes natural events in terms of supernatural causes, so like religion it relies on the faith of believers in the face of all directly contradictory evidence.

FINAL QUESTION:

Isn’t it FAR more likely that astrologers are fooling you so they can make money out of you? They count on the average person’s ignorance of astronomy, fear of the future, desire for control over their lives, and I’m sorry to have to say it, gullibility.

People like Norah know that even if only 5% of the “free readings” they send out result in a $79 sale of books and magical nonsense, they will still make enough to live on. They know full well that they are lying to you, and yet they callously continue to prey on your hopes and fears – all to make a quick and easy Buck!

I truly hope that if you believe in astrology, I have given you some food for thought.

I hope you will not send any of your hard-earned money to an astrologer or to any other charlatan. If you get tempted, drop me an e-mail and I will do my best to talk you out of it!

Feng Shoo-‘way

My husband, a Landscape Architect, suggested I should write about Feng Shui. Many large companies use Feng Shui when designing their office blocks and landscapes, so he thinks there might be something in it.

The “Feng Shui” we are most familiar with is a modern decorating style based on an ancient Chinese belief that all objects are alive and filled with Qi (life force). Balancing the Qi energy in any given space will ensure “health, wealth, good fortune, productivity” and great sex for those who live and work in it.

Qi is composed of Yin and Yang, the two opposing but interrelated Feng Shui forces that make up every thing in the universe. These forces support and nourish one another and create the essence of life around us.

Yin is supposed to be the female force – soft, slow, quiet, passive and moist – while Yang is the masculine – strong, colourful, active, bright, (and presumably dry…)

(Funny how the guys always get the interesting part in these ancient philosophies, isn’t it?)

A Feng-Shui-corrected home is meant to balance the Yin and Yang, harmonise the universal life forces, align the Qi – and look pretty, all at the same time.

(It is actually really easy to make this stuff up as you go along. Try it. Just use the words “Energy”, “Life Force”. “Harmony”, “Qi” and any other New Agey buzz-words you can think of, in any old order – people will believe you, I promise!)

Let us continue:

There are 5 elements of Feng Shui: Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal and Water, and these interact in “productive and destructive cycles.” (I couldn’t find out what this actually means…unless it’s like “Rock, Paper, Scissors?” Metal and Fire beat Wood, Earth and Water beat Fire?)

You will also need a Bagua (“8 Areas”) diagram, which combines the magnetic direction with a range of colours, the 5 Elements and the Nine Major Areas of Life into a Magical Map of Feng Shui that will help you to evaluate and adjust your home and work spaces to maximise your health, wealth and so on.

The key is to make sure you check very carefully which direction is magnetic north, because the Qi is aligned with the Earth’s magnetic field, and if you get it wrong you will be poor, unhappy and celibate for ever!

There is some correlation between these two diagrams – but, as we have come to expect, diagrams of this nature tend to show a bit of “creativity” with the rules. Anyway, you get the point, I’m sure. North (at the bottom) is watery and blue/black and is related to your career and business – etcetera.

Important to note: If you are in the Southern Hemisphere you should NOT turn the diagram upside down – North is North, regardless of where you are on the face of the Planet…… Or is it????

It is well documented that the Earth’s magnetic field is weakening and appears to be in the beginning phases of a reversal that happens on average every 300 000 years and takes about 1 000 years to complete itself. In the interim, the field will weaken and become chaotic, with as many as two or three North and South poles simultaneously.

These reversals have happened many times in the past, but the change is gradual and the planet is still protected from solar radiation because the magnetic field does not disappear altogether while the shift is happening. (No, the North and South geographic poles are NOT going to suddenly flip over in 2012, despite what the crackpots are claiming. Watch this blog for some ideas on that silly notion soon!)

Feng Shui adherents don’t seem to be too concerned about the fact that the north magnetic pole is constantly on the move at the rate of about 40km a year. From my African perspective, magnetic north shifts by about 1 degree annually. It is currently in the far north of Canada, and will most likely be in northern Siberia within 50 years.

Now, imagine this: you’ve just paid some nice lady with a kaftan and beads good money to align your furniture and ornaments with the Qi energy and the North pole’s magnetic field – and then the damn thing goes and moves!

Do you have to move everything fractionally every year? What happens if your bed ends up IN FRONT of your door and you can’t get out? What about your garden? Do you have to dig it all up – the patiently aligned paths, the cute little 3-legged money toads, the carefully raked Japanese Garden – and move it around to make sure it’s where your Bagua says it needs to be?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feng Shui is a type of Geomancy or divination by geographical features. It assumes that by placing physical objects in an environment in specific ways, you can influence your life and future for the better. This is purely magical thinking.

Creating a pleasant and peaceful environment is great, but claiming that it can influence the course of your life, prevent illnesses, bring you money and good fortune, help you find love and happiness?…. No, it won’t. It’s just bricks and mortar, sand and stone, wood, metal and water. The magic is in your head.

Qi, the so-called life force is part of a metaphysical, not empirical, belief system. This type of energy belief is popular in many cultures and religions. (It must be stressed that the energy referred to is not the energy we refer to in physical science – the potential for a system to perform work on another system.)

There is no scientific evidence for the existence of Qi energy. Many alternative health practitioners claim to be tapping into this magical life force (acupuncture, reflexology, chiropractic etc), but it has been shown that their limited effectiveness is really due to the placebo affect, and in some cases to the benefits of relaxation and massage.

Feng Shui is a seductive and complex system. When I was researching this blog, I found myself thinking it’s no wonder people are taken in by Feng Shui – it SEEMS so plausible! All the carefully specified rules, complicated diagrams, special ornaments… the consultant who comes around and measures directions, gives advice on how to build, how to hang doors, where to place mirrors, what colours to use, where to place furniture… and the end result is so gorgeous – so Japanese – so mystical.

Sorry people, it’s STILL just a style of interior decoration. You may feel good working and living in such a space but it will not influence anything other than your state of mind.

If you really want to change the course of your life, eat a healthy diet, don’t smoke or drink too much alcohol, get off your butt and into the gym, work hard but smart, love your family and friends and use your common sense!

 

Atlantean Power Crystals

A few days ago, I received an email from a local store which sells Atlantean Power Crystals. (They were also selling their beat-up old car and looking for a home for their equally beat-up old cat.)

The email asked if I was a Past-Life Atlantean, and if so, my Atlantean Crystal was calling me to come and collect (buy) it. My crystal and I would continue our special relationship – I had already programmed it in my previous life on Atlantis. I should keep it with me at all times and talk to it as I would to my plants. If I had to take it off for any reason I was to lay it carefully on a little pink satin cushion underneath some sort of paper re-charging pyramid. My crystal will guide me through the coming worldwide 2012 change of consciousness. It possesses a special energy that will heal me and protect me.

That sounds certifiably insane!

I immediately banged out an email to the lady selling these marvellous crystals, with a couple of questions: where do the crystals come from? How will I know which is the one I programmed myself back in Atlantis? Tell me all about the coming change of consciousness? How does crystal healing work?

The lady’s response was not encouraging – she wanted my phone number, so she could phone me to discuss my questions. Well, I certainly didn’t want to have a conversation with this nut-job, so I responded that I was uncertain about the feelings I was having about the crystals and I didn’t feel I was ready to talk just yet. Could she not just give me some information, so I could mull it over?

Of course, there’s no way she was going to commit her madness to paper – so I had to leave it at that.

Reluctantly, I turned to the internet to find out more…

Atlantis was a mythical land which Plato wrote about in 360 BCE in “Timaeus” and “Critias.” He claimed it was a land that lay beyond the “Pillars of Hercules” (often taken to mean it lay in the Atlantic Ocean, to the west of Africa) and sank into the ocean in a “single day and night of misfortune.”  Few people took the story seriously until modern times, when it became a symbol for all great lost civilisations. Plato describes Atlanteans as a military nation, but they have come to be viewed as much, much more….

A “psychic,” Edgar Cayce, claimed that Atlantis was the size of a continent, and lay between the Azores and the Bahamas. Its people were highly evolved – having ships and aircraft powered by “Energy Crystals.”

(Unfortunately for Cayce, continental drift has proved that there cannot have been a continent in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean in the geologically recent past.)

Others have suggested sites such as within the Mediterranean Sea, Antarctica, the Indian Ocean and the Pacific Ocean…. lots of speculation, but no evidence that Atlantis was anything other than a legend.

Until now, that is, with the discovery of the Power Crystals!! Although you and I may see them as simple quartz, quite pretty, but nothing special, the Past-Life Atlanteans believe they can be used for healing, and to store information and energy.

Atlanteans apparently used them to transmit audio and video over great distances, just like modern day television! They used crystals to communicate with God, and to heal their Aura. The misuse of these powerful crystals led to the downfall of Atlantis – so be VERY careful when you put it down on its little pink cushion, don’t bump it whatever you do!

Life Technology can create their own Power Crystals by “incorporating the toroidal power of implosion, orgone energy, phi harmonics, tensor fields, sonics and ultrasonics, visible and invisible light spectrum energy and most crucially a unique energy template within the crystalline matrix of the Atlantean Power Crystal.

These crystals supposedly have the power to:

  • heal and recharge the human electromagnetic field
  • emit neutrinos, enabling the correction of intracellular frequencies (Bollocks. Neutrinos are only emitted by radioactive decay or nuclear reactions, and penetrate straight through matter without interaction – they certainly won’t interact with the cells of the human body)
  • enable centrifugal reorganisation of the chakras
  • dissipate harmful cosmic rays from outer space
  • make food more nutritious and water positively energised
  • send and receive love and light
  • give access to the universal language of the body of light, for bilocation, translation and multilocation functions (WHAT does that actually MEAN???)

The list goes on and on, and each claim is more fantastic than the last. What is missing is any evidence that any of this really happens (except in the mind of the reincarnated Atlantean)

One of these is Archangel Metatron, Lord of Light! (Exclamation mark is his.) He claims that 2008 began the unlocking of the great Atlantean Crystals, held for over 12 000 years in dimensional seal within the magnetic complex of Arkansas. They will align with other sleeping crystals all over the Americas, and many have already come to live within this crystalline vortex which will be fully in place THIS YEAR! Yes folks, 2012! the Guardians of Sirius B are preparing for you to join them….

The man obviously belongs in a padded cell…. It’s all completely made-up Bullshit of the highest order. If you manage to read it all the way to the end without your head exploding, I’ll send you a lollipop 🙂

SLIGHTLY less bonkers is Crystal Wings where your Crystal Companion is waiting for you. Powerful tools for healing and transformation, Ruby Lavender Quartz, resonates with your High Heart Chakra, resonates with the Seventh Spiritual Ray (a unique frequency and quality of the Divine,) brings in the Divine Feminine (passive, intuitive, receptive – it would be wouldn’t it.) and carries a Trinity of Colour.

The Temple Baby, a big pointy, faceted pink crystal will set you back a mere $800. A small price to pay in the pursuit of spiritual ascension and divine purpose!

If you prefer to carry your cosmic ray deflector around your neck, a Ruby Lavender Quartz pendant in a 14 carat gold setting will also empty your bank account of $800. They’re not shy are they?

2012 promises to be quite a year, by all accounts: If we don’t all get wiped out by the non-existent planet Niburu which is currently “hiding behind the Sun”, the Magick Crystals will cause a portal to open up to a new dimension, maybe all the way to Sirius B.

Those of us whose elevator goes all the way to the top floor can relax. Be assured, these portents of disaster are no more likely than all those that have come (and gone) before.

Poll: Norah the “World Class Psychic”

Labyrinth Power?

This morning, one of my colleagues mentioned that she had planted a labyrinth in her garden recently. She added that early on New Years’ morning she had gone outside and walked the labyrinth, “asking for guidance and seeking peace.”

I had never heard of “Labyrinth Walking” so I decided to try to find out more. What is the history of the labyrinth? What effect, if any, does walking a labyrinth have on the walker?

My Google search turned up the Labyrinth society (labyrinthsociety.org) which “offers support to those who create, maintain and use labyrinths” and to provide “education, networking and opportunities to experience transformation.” (Italics mine)

Ah, ha! The first clue! The society defines a labyrinth as a “single path or unicursal tool for personal, psychological and spiritual transformation” and says that “labyrinths are thought to enhance right brain activity.” (Just be careful your Right Brain doesn’t become so creative, your Left Brain forgets to look where you’re going.)

Apparently there are several types of labyrinth, from the Classical Greek (found on Cretan coins from 400 to 500 BCE) , Roman and Medieval labyrinths found in various churches and cathedrals.Modern contemporary labyrinths are designed to “enhance spiritual perception,” and are touted as an alternative medical treatment for cancer amongst other dire ailments. (Note: Walking a labyrinth will not cure your cancer, no matter how “spiritual” you find the experience. It may help you to relax and calm your mind, which may be beneficial.)

The Labyrinth Society site offers some basic information on “Sacred Geometry” (whatever that is), and a Labyrinth Locator. If you want to become a member, it will cost you between $50 and $1250. Membership entitles you to access to the Energy Keepers, a group of volunteers who will provide you with “loving support” and “energy” to help you overcome your troubles.

All very nice, I’m sure. Nowhere on the site does it state exactly how the 140 Energy Keepers acquired this marvellous power, or how they will channel it to you, the financially disadvantaged,  bereaved and suffering Labyrinth walker.

There is a very religious slant to the whole thing, of course. Various websites talk about “spiritual awakening”, “prayer tools”, “balancing the chakras” (what??) and “discovering your own sacred inner space”.

Very New Age.

Wikipedia, on the other hand, has a much wider and more historical view of Labyrinths. Here, I read about the ancient Greek, Egyptian, Native American, Indian and Roman labyrinths, and their decidedly pagan use in meditation, myth and making things look pretty.Prehistoric labyrinths were supposed to trap any naughty Evil Spirits that might be lurking around, and were also used as paths for ritual dances.

There is no evidence that early Christians attached any significance to labyrinths or mazes. and it was only in the 17th and 18th centuries that crawling along the labyrinthine path on your bloodied knees was considered an adequate alternative to a pilgrimage to the “Holy Land.” Even today, walking along the labyrinthine path is supposed to lead to salvation, enlightenment, and so on.

My opinion is this: if you want to walk around in circles to think and clear your head, you could use a labyrinth – or you could just pace up and down like a normal person. Or you could just sit and think, and clear your head. Or, you could just sit. Any one of those actions is going to relax you, or focus your mind, or make you feel better. Running around the block or punching a pillow or pounding out some rock ‘n roll on your piano will make you feel better.

Why do people feel the need to attach “spiritual” significance to a meandering walk along a laid-out pathway?

Does a labyrinth laid out by a landscaping contractor in a Hotel garden also have “Special Spiritual Powers?”

How the hell would you know???