Atlantean Power Crystals

A few days ago, I received an email from a local store which sells Atlantean Power Crystals. (They were also selling their beat-up old car and looking for a home for their equally beat-up old cat.)

The email asked if I was a Past-Life Atlantean, and if so, my Atlantean Crystal was calling me to come and collect (buy) it. My crystal and I would continue our special relationship – I had already programmed it in my previous life on Atlantis. I should keep it with me at all times and talk to it as I would to my plants. If I had to take it off for any reason I was to lay it carefully on a little pink satin cushion underneath some sort of paper re-charging pyramid. My crystal will guide me through the coming worldwide 2012 change of consciousness. It possesses a special energy that will heal me and protect me.

That sounds certifiably insane!

I immediately banged out an email to the lady selling these marvellous crystals, with a couple of questions: where do the crystals come from? How will I know which is the one I programmed myself back in Atlantis? Tell me all about the coming change of consciousness? How does crystal healing work?

The lady’s response was not encouraging – she wanted my phone number, so she could phone me to discuss my questions. Well, I certainly didn’t want to have a conversation with this nut-job, so I responded that I was uncertain about the feelings I was having about the crystals and I didn’t feel I was ready to talk just yet. Could she not just give me some information, so I could mull it over?

Of course, there’s no way she was going to commit her madness to paper – so I had to leave it at that.

Reluctantly, I turned to the internet to find out more…

Atlantis was a mythical land which Plato wrote about in 360 BCE in “Timaeus” and “Critias.” He claimed it was a land that lay beyond the “Pillars of Hercules” (often taken to mean it lay in the Atlantic Ocean, to the west of Africa) and sank into the ocean in a “single day and night of misfortune.”  Few people took the story seriously until modern times, when it became a symbol for all great lost civilisations. Plato describes Atlanteans as a military nation, but they have come to be viewed as much, much more….

A “psychic,” Edgar Cayce, claimed that Atlantis was the size of a continent, and lay between the Azores and the Bahamas. Its people were highly evolved – having ships and aircraft powered by “Energy Crystals.”

(Unfortunately for Cayce, continental drift has proved that there cannot have been a continent in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean in the geologically recent past.)

Others have suggested sites such as within the Mediterranean Sea, Antarctica, the Indian Ocean and the Pacific Ocean…. lots of speculation, but no evidence that Atlantis was anything other than a legend.

Until now, that is, with the discovery of the Power Crystals!! Although you and I may see them as simple quartz, quite pretty, but nothing special, the Past-Life Atlanteans believe they can be used for healing, and to store information and energy.

Atlanteans apparently used them to transmit audio and video over great distances, just like modern day television! They used crystals to communicate with God, and to heal their Aura. The misuse of these powerful crystals led to the downfall of Atlantis – so be VERY careful when you put it down on its little pink cushion, don’t bump it whatever you do!

Life Technology can create their own Power Crystals by “incorporating the toroidal power of implosion, orgone energy, phi harmonics, tensor fields, sonics and ultrasonics, visible and invisible light spectrum energy and most crucially a unique energy template within the crystalline matrix of the Atlantean Power Crystal.

These crystals supposedly have the power to:

  • heal and recharge the human electromagnetic field
  • emit neutrinos, enabling the correction of intracellular frequencies (Bollocks. Neutrinos are only emitted by radioactive decay or nuclear reactions, and penetrate straight through matter without interaction – they certainly won’t interact with the cells of the human body)
  • enable centrifugal reorganisation of the chakras
  • dissipate harmful cosmic rays from outer space
  • make food more nutritious and water positively energised
  • send and receive love and light
  • give access to the universal language of the body of light, for bilocation, translation and multilocation functions (WHAT does that actually MEAN???)

The list goes on and on, and each claim is more fantastic than the last. What is missing is any evidence that any of this really happens (except in the mind of the reincarnated Atlantean)

One of these is Archangel Metatron, Lord of Light! (Exclamation mark is his.) He claims that 2008 began the unlocking of the great Atlantean Crystals, held for over 12 000 years in dimensional seal within the magnetic complex of Arkansas. They will align with other sleeping crystals all over the Americas, and many have already come to live within this crystalline vortex which will be fully in place THIS YEAR! Yes folks, 2012! the Guardians of Sirius B are preparing for you to join them….

The man obviously belongs in a padded cell…. It’s all completely made-up Bullshit of the highest order. If you manage to read it all the way to the end without your head exploding, I’ll send you a lollipop 🙂

SLIGHTLY less bonkers is Crystal Wings where your Crystal Companion is waiting for you. Powerful tools for healing and transformation, Ruby Lavender Quartz, resonates with your High Heart Chakra, resonates with the Seventh Spiritual Ray (a unique frequency and quality of the Divine,) brings in the Divine Feminine (passive, intuitive, receptive – it would be wouldn’t it.) and carries a Trinity of Colour.

The Temple Baby, a big pointy, faceted pink crystal will set you back a mere $800. A small price to pay in the pursuit of spiritual ascension and divine purpose!

If you prefer to carry your cosmic ray deflector around your neck, a Ruby Lavender Quartz pendant in a 14 carat gold setting will also empty your bank account of $800. They’re not shy are they?

2012 promises to be quite a year, by all accounts: If we don’t all get wiped out by the non-existent planet Niburu which is currently “hiding behind the Sun”, the Magick Crystals will cause a portal to open up to a new dimension, maybe all the way to Sirius B.

Those of us whose elevator goes all the way to the top floor can relax. Be assured, these portents of disaster are no more likely than all those that have come (and gone) before.

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5 comments on “Atlantean Power Crystals

    • Hi Constance
      Thank-you for your comment. Atlantean Power Crystals, along with other forms of crystal healing, are 100% delusional nonsense. But, in my opinion, so is religion. Why can’t people simply live in reality?
      Perhaps belief in crystals (and in gods) gives people a sense that someone or something Out There cares about them, wants them to be healthy and happy?

      Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment on my blog!
      Regards, Cathy.

  1. What an interesting article. I realise now why my crystal is not operating with cosmic energy. It is all to do with that pink pyramid. Interesting read with a nice comic twist.

  2. Nice take on this stark raving nut-jobbery. Well written – the link to Archangel Metatron now says page not found – it appears I am on shaky ground to demand my lollipop! 🙂

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